Lagniappe Mobile Blog

Despite the wild ramblings of people like County Commissioner Mike Dean, who at a public meeting Monday said repeatedly that the competition for the Air Force tanker was lost and should be abandoned, there are still some rabbits to be pulled from hats. In my latest column, I discuss what I think will happen concerning Brookley Field and Mobile’s opportunities to build “big jets.”

My contention is while the tanker may or may not be a lost cause, there is still a lot happening here and Brookley is certainly a desirable place for those who build those wonderful flying machines. In fact, as Airport Authority Director Bay Haas told me in another story, Brookley has now been selected four times to build large aircraft. True, nary a one has been built, but it at least means people think it’s a great place to TALK about building planes.

In this issue’s column, I tackle the apparent botched attempt by School Board President Fleet Belle to run a game on his opponent in the upcoming runoff election. It looks a lot like Fleet and his campaign engaged an elderly woman to file some complaints against Levon Manzie, and then possibly tried to get the school board’s attorneys involved, too boot.

Frankly, Belle just doesn’t seem to bring much to the table. With his tax problems, past use of the office to get family members sweet deals and poor judgment displayed while in office, Belle should be bounced.

My old friend Trey is back this issue to talk about Hurricane Season. He doesn’t seem to share my opinion that predictions about Hurricane Season are a complete waste of time.

I’m constantly amazed at the press Dr. William Gray and other hurricane gurus get each year in predicting how many storms we’re going to have, when they’re wrong every year. Why don’t I just try predicting how many Hollywood types are going to get veneers on their teeth or boob jobs? (OK, actually, that would be easier than predicting the weather.)

I just don’t see the purpose these inaccurate “predictions” serve. All they do is help the local TV station move “tracking charts” down at whatever grocery store they’ve partnered with this year. Next year maybe I’ll have one of my rat terriers pull names out of a hat to predict which storms will be bad and will hit the U.S. and we’ll see who gets closer.

I just got through watching Jimmy Buffett on David Letterman and I can’t help being struck by the fact that we as a community have done nothing to try to honor one of the most successful living Mobilians (if not THE most successful). Why not name the Causeway the Jimmy Buffett Causeway? Or find some other suitable place?

Hell, there are plenty of politicians who have things named after them around this town. Why not do something to honor someone who has been a monumental success in so many fields and who most Mobilians love to brag about when they’re jabbering with someone from another town? It just makes sense. And all you haters out there who will moan and act like Jimmy’s music is beneath you, I’m not saying you even have to like him. But you should at least respect the career he’s had and the success in writing, music, business and theater.

For that matter, it’s time Mobile forms it’s own Music Hall of Fame. It doesn’t need to cost a bunch of money. It could be without an edifice for a while at least. But we have an impressive musical history and it deserves a space, certainly as much as our sports hall of fame.

We need to tell the elected folks we’d like a statue of Jimmy in Bienville Square, or something along those lines.

OK, I saw the new “Indiana Jones” movie last night, and though I’ve always loved the series, I must say this one was a disappointment. The acting was fine. The film looked good and had some of the feel of the originals. It’s just that the amount of completely impossible and just plain ridiculous stuff in this one movie outstripped all three of the others together by a mile. Think of the most unbelievable moment of the original three. (For me, the guy pulling the heart out in “Temple of Doom” or perhaps the group falling from the airplane into the mountains in a raft.) This latest has at least 20 instances that are more ridiculous by a mile.

Somehow Indy is older than hell, but he can kick more ass than ever. OK, maybe I’ll try to buy that one, but (SPOILER ALERT!!! DON’T READ FURTHER IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN THIS FLICK!!) surviving a direct nuclear hit by huddling in a refrigerator, giant ants that drag people into their mounds, native guardians who apparently have been encased in mud and clay waiting for years for people to show up, etc. are all too much. The scene where the young Jones swings through the trees to catch vehicles traveling 40 mph., taking with him a team of wild monkeys who attack the bad guys, is not even believable enough to be in a child’s cartoon.

Then there’s the easy wrap up. The aliens kill the bad lady. For some reason the FBI no longer wants to ruin Indy. A quickie wedding. This movie is just one series of chases after another with a poorly thought out story. Indy should have been left alone in his tomb. This grave robbing definitely caused the body to start to stink.

I’ve already heard some blowback about this latest column from some saying it’s unfair, but it seems to me if you’re an elected officials, you ought to be willing to answer some tough questions from time to time. You also ought to be held to a higher standard, as you’re dealing with the public’s money.

In watching Mobile County Commissioner Mike Dean for the past several weeks, it seems obvious to me he’s been trying to dangle the potential for fixing people’s muddy and potholed private roads with public funds, even though he knows he can’t do it. He’s been recorded saying as much twice, and during an interview with a news reporter, admitted it’s something he says to people because he doesn’t want to tell them no.

As for School Board President Fleet Belle, the man has had many federal tax liens, on himself and his church, not to mention other judgments against him and his church. It’s hard to understand why someone who can’t manage his own checkbook should be in charge of a budget that’s nearly three-quarters of a billion buckaroos.

OK, maybe it wasn’t very moving in the usual way this week. No hostility and no kicking around the local politicos. But it’s what’s going on in my life right now. And after all, moving sucks! Hope you enjoy the column, either way.

Frankly, the moving experience is about as much fun as losing a major limb in a wheat thresher.

Feel sorry for me.

I don’t know if anyone saw Channel 10 tonight, but they ran a story prefaced with all the anger and disgust Bob and the new gal could muster. The story, about a guy in Florida who got his 85-year-old granny suffering from dementia to pretend to be a gangsta for a video he was doing, was run despite the anchor’s warnings that it was disturbing, or disgusting or some other such thing.

Number one, the story’s from Florida, so what the hell do we care about it? Number two, if it’s so damn disgusting and horrific, why run it? Number three, it’s not like the kid hurt granny, all he did was have her dress funny, wave a pistol and curse. My grandmother did that all the time. Elder abuse? Not quite. Stupid? Perhaps. Funny? Well, SOME people might think so.

But I get so tired of the local stations scouring the world for outrageous stories, then breathlessly telling us how awful what they’re about to show us is. Wouldn’t the space be better used for doing some more in-depth reporting? Letting the meteorologist develop a weather boner over light rain and humidity every night for 10 minutes, then hitting us with some supposedly disgusting video from WeeWaw, Wisconsin just doesn’t make sense to me.

We’ve got plenty of perverts right here in River City. Get out there and find them! Then the anchors can tsk, tsk our local pervs at least. Really, most of the time watching more than the first five minutes of the local news seems superfluous. WPMI often leads with this stuff, too, or features it as their second story. Certainly there’s a story on the guy who was walking down Spring Hill Ave. in a housecoat yesterday. I bet he’s abused someone recently, or been abused.

Get local and stay local, guys. And please cut back on the weather unless something’s actually happening.

The recent crime spree in Mobile has a lot of people, particularly some of my brethren in the news media, pointing the finger at downtown and it’s nearby neighborhoods. And yes, there have been some crimes in my Oakleigh neighborhood and in downtown, but it’s happening all over town. In my latest column I talk about this situation. The Loop has been hard hit, and there have even been holdups in tony Spring Hill. People try to keep it quiet.

I know the company line at City Hall is that crime really hasn’t risen, but I’m not buying that. Maybe the number of armed robberies is the same, but no one cares when someone hanging out at a juke joint on Michigan Avenue at midnight gets robbed. When it’s the Blockbuster at the Loop that’s held up, that’s another story.

The cops I’ve talked to all say they need more help. More people patrolling. That’s the answer. Stop the stupid roadblocks and trying to catch people with expired insurance, and patrol more. Get more guys and gals out there with handcuffs, tasers and pistols. That’s what we need.

Even though Chicago is Boeing’s corporate HQ, we all know it’s heart and soul is Seattle. In my latest column, I talk about  how all this tanker business is starting to make people around here hate on the Emerald City. (more…)