Shark Fishing

Almost everyone that hears that fishermen have been trying to lure sharks into shallow water think it’s possibly the dumbest thing they ever heard of. I think such fishermen should have to fish standing in the water up their waist. Let’s make it a fair fight! The aggravation behind the story is that these presumably very few fisherfolk have objected vehemently to the idea that they should be prohibited from carrying out this stupid practice because it would be the beginning of the end of fishing as we know it. Stupid squared!

4 Responses to “Shark Fishing”

  1. Jason Nark Says:

    In Jaws, Bruce the Great White made a concerted effort to lure Hooper,
    Chief Brody, and Quint out to the open sea. Isn’t this merely payback?

  2. Preston Brady Says:

    George, shame on you for what has to be only a momentary lapse in
    creative innovation.

    I’ve recently formed The New Order Fisherman’s
    Club and Clubbing Collective, ( TNOFCACC)and we take advantage of
    a myriad of cutting edge methods for fishing. Here are just a few that
    have greatly improved our catch numbers, which, by the way also spell
    more delicious seafood on the tables of hard-working Americans.

    1. Stun guns. This one is favored by members who want that extra
    umph by rendering the fish silly, disabling it’s internal
    navigation system, readying it for the final kill with a baseball
    bat.

    2. Home-made underwater ordnance, i.e., home-made little bombs designed
    to explode underwater. These babies stir up a whole area of the beach
    and confuse a plethora of sea life into waiting nets.

    3. Professional Wrestlers: The money you pay one pro wrestler to jump on
    sharks and wrestle them to the shore, is tripled in the rich bounty
    you realize at end of a long fishing day.

    George, the sport of fishing like so many other sports, has evolved over
    the years to include these and other new methods for tricking the fish
    into our buckets and eventually our plates.

    Also remember we are now competing with other mammals, some who appear
    to be smarter than us - in particular sea lions - who are beating us to
    the punch, basically stealing our food right under our noses.

    Finally, as for the shallow method of shark fishing you describe -
    with gas prices soaring so high we had to scoot, if you will, deep sea
    fishing inward a few miles. We are also proud to count among our numbers
    several eminent marine biologists who are working on new methods that
    will eliminate most of the tedious methods of fishing we are currently
    enslaved to, and lure the fish out of the water, onto the shore and jumping
    into specially designed tubs filled with ice and ready for transport
    to your nearest fresh seafood outlet. I hope this clears things up for you.

    Preston Brady
    President, CEO,CFO
    The New Order Fisherman’s Club and Clubbing Collective
    (TNOFCACC)

  3. gcrozier Says:

    Preston - you ARE the man - want to do a guest piece?

  4. Preston Brady Says:

    You’ve got me hook, line and sinker. Cast me the details.

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