I’ve recently formed The New Order Fisherman’s
Club and Clubbing Collective, ( TNOFCACC)and we take advantage of
a myriad of cutting edge methods for fishing. Here are just a few that
have greatly improved our catch numbers, which, by the way also spell
more delicious seafood on the tables of hard-working Americans.

1. Stun guns. This one is favored by members who want that extra
umph by rendering the fish silly, disabling it’s internal
navigation system, readying it for the final kill with a baseball
bat.

2. Home-made underwater ordnance, i.e., home-made little bombs designed
to explode underwater. These babies stir up a whole area of the beach
and confuse a plethora of sea life into waiting nets.

3. Professional Wrestlers: The money you pay one pro wrestler to jump on
sharks and wrestle them to the shore, is tripled in the rich bounty
you realize at end of a long fishing day.

George, the sport of fishing like so many other sports, has evolved over
the years to include these and other new methods for tricking the fish
into our buckets and eventually our plates.

Also remember we are now competing with other mammals, some who appear
to be smarter than us - in particular sea lions - who are beating us to
the punch, basically stealing our food right under our noses.

Finally, as for the shallow method of shark fishing you describe -
with gas prices soaring so high we had to scoot, if you will, deep sea
fishing inward a few miles. We are also proud to count among our numbers
several eminent marine biologists who are working on new methods that
will eliminate most of the tedious methods of fishing we are currently
enslaved to, and lure the fish out of the water, onto the shore and jumping
into specially designed tubs filled with ice and ready for transport
to your nearest fresh seafood outlet. I hope this clears things up for you.

Preston Brady
President, CEO,CFO
The New Order Fisherman’s Club and Clubbing Collective
(TNOFCACC)