Turns out, true rednecks have extensive security systems. It seems they are always afraid their property will be invaded. I hit a trip wire almost instantly, and I was caught red-handed, creeping towards the flag. Being an amateur vigilante soldier, I choked and forgot to dive. I froze in place, waiting to be shot. I was confused when I was invited in for a beer.

I may owe my life to the white sheet and hood. There was a meeting of some sort at that house last night. I’m not sure what sort of meeting it was, but they seemed to assume that I would want to be there simply because of my choice of apparel.

They got me really drunk, so I’m not exactly sure what transpired next. I vaguely remember a large fire and some dancing around the rebel flag. Everyone kept calling me Tonya, so I never took off my hood. I stumbled home safely sometime before midnight (still beneath the moon of Leap Year Day).

I’m still not sure what happened last night. I feel strange today. I have a sudden, oddly excessive repulsion for people in baggy pants. And my heart swells a little bit when I look out my window and see that beautiful flag waving at me. Alarmed, I am already reading up on aversion therapy. Or perhaps it’s too late and I’m already…(gulp)…one of them?

Don’t get me wrong. He’s a good ‘ole boy and I know he don’t mean no harm by his flag. Clearly, he primarily flies his flag for historic and heritage-related purposes. After all, he actually is a Confederate veteran. Well, ok, maybe he’s not. But his great-great-great grandfather who he never met was alive during the civil war. And that’s basically the same thing, right? However, if you ask him “just between us white folks,” he’ll tell you that he’s only trying to send out a message to keep “trouble” away from our street. And to his credit, I don’t believe that we’ve had any crimes occur on our street since that flag was put to mast. Until now, that is…

I’ve been thinking that I really should vandalize the flag tonight. For one thing, I’m tired of it ruining my view. For another, I haven’t engaged in any good and proper vandalism since I played varsity soccer in high school. That was at least five years ago. I think I’m long over-due. Plus, it’s Leap Year Day and I’m feeling rowdy! So now I’ve got important decisions to make. Steal it? Slash it? Set it ablaze? I’ve got some planning to do before darkness falls tonight.

The best part is, despite my public written confession, I know I’ll get away with it. I’ve heard at least two reports from neighbors that a suspicious young black male was spotted walking through our neighborhood this morning (gasp). No one will EVER suspect me!

Wish me luck. This is a delicate operation. Rebel flag owners always have big guns. I’m pretty sure it’s the law. Don’t worry though. I’m not going in unprepared. Luckily, this very same guy has the perfect camouflage coveralls hanging in his open utility room. I’ll swipe the camo today while he’s at work, and then when night falls, I’ll return to finish off the flag. If anyone stirs, Ill just dive into the tall grass and belly crawl home. I just hope the guy is as crappy at hunting as he is at yard work!

I am (was?) a member of the Sons of Confederate Veterans, as well as the Military Order of the Stars and Bars. The original mission of these august bodies has been hijacked by certain (barely-concealed) neo-RACIST elements whom seek to shroud their agenda in the banners my South Carolinian ancestors DIED under. A pox upon the lot of those who would stoop to such means!

http://www.davidtrimmier.com/portfolio/index.php?album=EditorialDocumentary__Reenactors

(You’ll need to navigate a bit as I haven’t quite sorted this out)

dt sends

Im suprised that these flags aren’t the subject of vandalism, hell people in the past have been able to steal the big flag from the Joe Bullard dealership and that one is much larger than the HATE FLAG of the past. I think we need to catch the vandals that have been spray painting and shooting windows out of cars in midtown and set as a course of punishment that they have to steal one of the three rebel flags in the state each week.

I wish the state would allow an advertising company to put a billboard on the public right of way in front of all of these symbols of Hate, at least we could block their outdated symbol that truely has no place in todays society